I decided when I started this blog that I don’t want to write entries just to simply write blog entries. I only want to write when I am feeling it. This isn’t so much one of those times. This is more of an explanation of sorts. Right now my life is changing in so many ways. The enormity of these changes in my life is setting in more day by day, and, while I know these changes are for the best, I am terrified nonetheless.
Yesterday my counselor said that one being an “open book” is not a good thing. He said that if we share everything about ourselves with everyone then it makes our close relationships less important. I have to respectfully disagree. I feel like if I share myself with the world then maybe I can help someone out there in their journey on this crazy planet. One of the biggest things that has helped me in my life is hearing other people’s stories. I’ve always said if I can somehow help even one person feel better about themselves, then it’s all been worth it. I’ve had several people tell me that hearing my story has helped them stay strong in their journey. That is good enough for me.
What my grandma said to me when I told her that Eddie and I were getting a divorce has been running through my mind all day today. “Knowing that something is the right thing doesn’t make it any easier.” As our divorce is now final and he is going to be going back to NY with his parents in a little over a week, I can’t help but think about how what Gramma said was so painfully true.